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Revealing Details about my Medical Conditions (you've been warned)
Mellow Jon
foryoueverlong
I'm sorry it's been a while.  Updates:

I got a Droid X.  It is distracting.  Haven't tried blogging on it.  On-screen keyboard makes me miss my old flip-keyboard.  Playing alot of silly hourly MMO games.

I had my doctor appointment last Thursday.  It went okay.  Note to self: don't tell the doctor you think you have hemohhoroids.  Because he will check you RIGHT THERE, and right then.  I'm not dying, I just have a terrible bachelor's diet, that's lacking everything healthy.  Doctor recommended an over-the-counter fiber supplement.  I'm 26.  FML.  Actually, he and an intern there too, some kid my age, looked a little green.  Felt a little awkward, but I just thought of Grey's Anatomy, and that made it AWESOME.  Also, the reason I actually went to the doctor: not feeling feelings.  So he sent me on to a psychologist.

It took five weeks to see my doctor, so I had low expectations about this psychologist.  I call the next monday: they've had a cancellation and will see me tomorrow.  Tomorrow is today.  So I saw her.  One "Dr. Herbert", pronounced "err-vay", which I thought was kind of classy.  She is just an average-looking woman in her mid thirties.  Extremely friendly, but kind of detached and professional.  I talked to her for an hour, which involved about 50 minutes of questions.  She took special note of my failed relationships, and my casual suicidal thought (like twice in the last 10 years).  Then she mentioned that I probably have mild depression, and she can get me a prescription for something right now, or we can continue therapy.  So I thought to myself  "Sure, get me on the first thing that comes to your mind, after your 50-minute snap diagnosis, that'll fix all my one problem that you found."  Maybe she's just results-oriented, and didn't want to waste time - I can't be mad at her, that's not fair.  Regardless, I opted for plain therapy for now, next session on Monday. 

I'm more optimistic about the next session because it won't have to be so much "Oh! and who the hell are you?" kind of questioning.  I'm not really satisfied that I explained everything; I don't think that's possible in one session.

I'm still desperate to avoid the idea that all my problems are bullshit, compared to people who have REAL problems.  Also, that my problems are completely imaginary, because life is rough, and I need to grow a pair and get thicker skin.  Also, that I invent problems to save me from the pure boredom of solitary, unwillingly-celibate bachelorhood.  I've met all three of these people, who have these problems exactly in real life.  Sometimes I feel like I have combined their powers, and become CAPTIAN PROBLEMS!

Featured: Not Captian Problems

I do need to probably start exercising.  And clean my disgusting (in places) house.  I just wish there was something more I could do right now to get better.

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Seems her wanting to give you meds was a bit hasty! I think you did the right thing by not doing that at this point. I dont think anyones problems are bullshit if its a problem then its a very real problem to the person and thats all that counts. Well, other than the problem of how to spend daddies millions...if you have that particular problem I would gladly do the selfless act of helping ya out with that lil issue lol jk

Congrats on getting some help though! Its a huge first step and you should be very proud of yourself.

Thanks, I have to wonder if that's what she's come to expect from her patients - people who are looking for a quick chemical cure. First time is going to be awkward no matter what, I've gotta respect that. But thanks, it's hard, but maybe next week will be better.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd even do with money like that. I'd probably be like alot of those stories you hear: "lottery winner broke and destitute just months or years afterwards". Still, there's always a bigger fish as problems go. I guess we've all got to do the best we can for ourselves.


I wish you and I could meet in person. I swear you are my long lost brother.

:) I'm sure we would be friends. You've always got a place to stay if you're ever passing through Kansas.

Well, what a nice thing to say! I agree that we would be friends. :-)

And if you are ever in Ohio, God help you, you certainly have a place to stay as well!

ok hold on one thing in this post keeps sticking out to me
the part about your problems just being bullshit??

i dont' think its an idea to be avoided cuase its not true
your problems are not now or will they be bullshit of any kind

serously problems and things effect people in diffrent ways
you know this but problems are just that dont' belittle yours in anway cause if they are there they are what they are
and don't focus on all of them at once
i do that alot and get over welmed and just kinda say screw this

the captian planet thing was kinda funny to see scrolling down tho

i think you are right about the exercising the only problem is to get your self up to do it right now for me too cold to go to walking
but one day i just got up and went walking mostly cause i can't afford going for long drives anymore

Thanks, I appreciate it. It's hard to pin down, I mean, it really feels like taking in a car with an intermittent problem, and the problem never shows up for the mechanic. I almost didn't know what to tell her for that first session, like "uh, what am I doing here?"

I guess I grew up with alot of people who tried to fix problems in all the wrong ways. But this is progress.

There was a Robot Chicken bit on Captain Planet a while back, every since then I keep the remembering the whole "With your powers combined!..." line.

I resented her saying that about exercise, but she's right. I feel like crap when I don't leave the house, or move around, especially in the colder months when there isn't as much yard work to do.

I agree about the Droid X being a distraction :).

I have a problem with depression and take meds for it. I haven't ever gone to therapy though. Although I would like to. I don't think I would be able to afford it though. My insurance would only pay for a handful of sessions. So, I'm like you in that I can't help but wonder how just three for four sessions is going to help.

My doctor really pushes exercise and says exercising should also help with the depression. I...have yet to start doing that. hehe

Yeah, it's definitely not something I can't keep doing every week. That first session felt alot like something I could've just sat down and done with a good friend, instead of an expensive therapist. I have to give her a chance though. I don't have any reason to believe that she isn't doing everything she can to help.

And yeah, I really value my free time. I don't like the idea of a 3-4 night a week exercise routine. Some days I already don't have any time to myself. Who knows, maybe I'll have one of those brief New-Year's-Resolution exercise plans, that ends by February :P

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